The Average of the Ideas We Spend the Most Time With

Short Musing #5

Most people have heard of the idea about being, “the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with.” It is a well-known concept in the self-improvement space. However, I recently came across a post that called it a ridiculous notion. This wasn’t the first time I’d seen disagreements on the subject. However, aside from emotional reasoning, the arguments usually don’t have much else to offer. It’s simple to understand why this is, when we look past the emotions and analyze the depth in the statement. In truth, we are the average of the ideas we spend the most time with.

We all wear a pair of metaphorical glasses. Each human being carries with them certain values and beliefs that are fundamental to the way they think, speak, and act. Those beliefs are shaped mostly by their environment — which includes other people’s thoughts, sayings, and actions. To say that we are not affected by the people (or ideas) around us is as ridiculous as saying we are not affected by our environment. If that were true, none of us would be shaped by our cultures and we would have no context — no lens — by which to view the world through. Unless we are enlightened beings (who I believe do exist, though scarce in number), we see the world through a filter. That filter is the one we surround ourselves with — what I refer to as our “environment.”

We are what we consume. We consume other people’s thoughts when we listen to them, and most people repeat their same thoughts over and over again. As the saying goes, “we are what we think about.” From here, it’s clear to see how interacting with the same people, will have us soon adopting similar beliefs and habits. We are, at least in part, a product of our environments — if not now, then we were at some point. Even for people who think critically, looking down on the impact our surroundings have on us, underestimates its power. It’s best not to be guided by ego or blind empathy when making such conclusions. Else, we’ll deprive ourselves of the tools and knowledge to create a more prosperous life and extend that prosperity to others as well.