Punished for Trying? Double Down On It!

Short Musing #6

Failing to meet standards is difficult, especially when it’s a skill you’ve been trying hard to improve for a long time. Sharp, critical words can bite. It’s especially so, when they come from someone who’s skilled at it already. It’s even worse when that person is also someone you admire. Aside from becoming resentful, there is another tragedy that can unfold from such an exchange — giving up. The remedy then, is to extract useful feedback, discard the rest, and double-down on effort as soon as possible.

I’ve heard the saying, “the calm before the storm” but I haven’t heard one like, “the storm before the calm.” I like the picture that the latter paints in this type of circumstance. It’s a useful one to have in mind when navigating the difficult storms of life. Any skill, whether it’s writing, speaking, dancing, juggling, or something else, can improve with enough effort over time. It never pays to give up on a dream, if we know we truly want it. No words, however sharp, are worth the pain of the regret that will inevitably ensue. It sometimes gets worse, before it gets better — only then, we must cling to the idea, like we would driftwood in open water.

We mustn’t confuse other people’s standards with our own. Even if our dreams are sky high, to reach them we must climb the ladder one step at a time. Each step can represent a standard, higher than the last. If we keep this in mind, we can take back control over the situation. Acknowledging feedback doesn’t mean accepting the judgements that come with it. Extract what’s useful out of others’ remarks and discard the rest, using them as steppingstones to reach your dreams.

The vision of the person you want to become is invisible to everyone else, but you. Cherish it. Get back up as soon as you can to continue the momentum and improve To overcome the storm and reach calmer waters, you’ll get there faster if you focus on your own efforts — doubling-down when times get tough!